DO
YOU REMEMBER ME?
I
stood before Pilate accused and belittled. The crowd demanded my
crucifixion and I remained silent. They uttered false charges against
me. No one defended me. No one rose to challenge those who wished me
to answer for these transgressions. I was alone. I was dragged away
and scourged until my body was covered with blood; my flesh ripped
from my its bones. Forcing a crown of thorns upon my head and being
covered with a purple robe I was roundly mocked and led back to
Pilate to be sentenced to death.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
I was handed my own
cross to carry on my back; broken and bruised from untold abuse.
Forward I walked towards Golgotha and the fate that awaited me. I
stumbled and fell, being kicked and insulted; spat upon by those who
cheered me as I entered Jerusalem only a short time before. The palms
that they laid before me were not even dried or brittle. They were
still fresh and green; freshly picked and prepared. I can still taste
the dust from the dry ground where my face was driven into the dirt.
They lifted me up and pushed me forward using the bloody whip still
wet from my scourging.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
My mother stood
before me inconsolable in her grief. She wept for her only son, fruit
of her womb and her most beloved. She recalled the words of Simeon
and the sword he spoke about pierced her heart. She felt what I felt
and wished she could take away all the pain. I looked into her eyes
and longed to comfort her but I could not even comfort myself.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
I could not carry
the burden alone. Going down on one knee, I could not rise again. The
weight was too heavy, the pain too much. I felt like giving up. My
humanness was revealed, my limitations exposed for the world to see.
A man was pushed forward and forced into service. He knew me and I
knew him. He pitied me and was overcome by empathy. He shouldered
some of my burden and encouraged me to go forward. Together we
carried my cross and I loved him for his sacrifice. No one else
helped me. No one else came forward to lift the weight of the world
from my shoulders.
DO YOU REMMEBER
ME?
I leaned completely
on Simon and we stumbled against a stone wall. How I longed to close
my eyes and die. My shoulders burned; my legs felt as if they were
about to splinter underneath the pain. So short we have traveled and
yet Golgotha loomed ahead like a dark terror ready to engulf all of
us who were journeying towards our fate. A young woman came forward
with a wet cloth. She wiped my face gingerly and held it in her two
soft hands. “My Lord,” she whispered through a veil of tears
before she was ripped away by the soldiers and we were forced forward
once again. Sweet Veronica, you pitied me and showed compassion. You
braved the wrath of the soldiers when my most beloved friends and
brothers ran away.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
I could not feel my
feet. It felt as if I was flying. The world around me spun and the
sound of the roaring crowd was silenced. Then, with a bang,
everything came flooding back to me. I met the ground and heard Simon
scream in pain. He was hurt. The cross fell on top of him and I to
the ground. My face pulsated with pain. I heard the soldiers shouting
for me to get up. I could not feel the whips tearing into my face and
my back. The soldiers pulled up the cross and brought Simon to his
feet. They were shouting at him and spitting into his face. They
mounted the cross onto his back again. They then kicked and beat me
some more. I was lifted up and draped over Simon's left shoulder.
“Not much further,” he whispered. “Not much further, My Lord.”
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
The Women of
Jerusalem were before me, crying as they witnessed the pathetic
excuse of me before them. They knew. They knew what I was
experiencing. They were some of the first witnesses of my Passion.
Where was Peter? Where were my friends. Is there anyone but these
poor women here to understand and tell what I am doing? I prayed to
my Father to just let me die in the street. I wished this all could
be over. How long? How long must I go on? Father, please end this.
Only you could end this now!
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
Why so much pain?
Why so much suffering? Who could ever bear this? I have had enough! I
hear dearest Simon crying silently to himself. My blood has mingled
with his blood. There are those who cannot tell the difference
between us: who is being crucified, him or I? This time Simon fell
first and I followed. The cross crushed us both. The soldiers
laughed; the crowd threw stones at us. Simon and I helped each other
up. Simon muttered in my ear exasperated, “I wish I was dead. I
wish they would just kill me now.” I told Simon it wasn't his time.
It was my time. He would be preserved for another day but we would
soon be together. Just a short distance more.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
They took my cross
and laid it down. Simon staggered back. They tore away my garments.
Simon tried to stop them but was dragged away protesting as he went.
He tried to reach a hand out to me but it was too late. He was lost
in the crowd. I was alone again. It was comforting to have someone to
share the burden but now it had come back to me completely.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
Nails were driven
into my hands and feet. The cross became a part of me. What I carried
now was holding me, embracing me tightly. I tasted my blood and
spittle. Slowly I was raised upward to witness the pandemonium below.
My mother and my beloved John had fought to the front of the crowd to
witness the horror before them. The horror of me broken and twisted
upon a tree. I was unrecognizable: mutated and distorted by torture
and punishment. My body was scarlet like the sins of the world. I
wanted to curse all before me but I could not. I wanted to come down
from the cross and walk away but I could not. I could not disobey my
Father. He wanted me here and I agreed. Like the soldiers casting
lots below my die had already been cast. This was my destiny. But
even though this was the case, I could feel nothing. I could not feel
the Love of My Father or his presence. Had he abandoned me also?
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
Then He called me.
My beloved Father called me. It was time to go. It was time to suffer
more and embrace the Evil One. He would be defeated and through me
all would prevail who wanted to. The world faded around me and I
followed the darkness below. The fear left me. The pain left me. My
journey had only begun. I accepted my death and through it life.
Don't cry for me. I have already forgiven you for everything.
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
I was laid in a tomb
not my own. A stone rolled before it. This stone will not remain
here. This cold encasement is merely a beginning and not the end. For
those who have faith and love for me realize what all of this means.
Do you know what this means?
DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
I REMEMBER YOU.
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