Deacon Tom Anthony

When we search for something that is important to us we try to familiar ourselves with the object of our desire; remembering details that would help us in our task to obtain what we want. Sometimes we replay in our minds the last time that we saw it or what we were doing when we had it last. All tools at our disposal are brought forward. We are known even to pray for the intercession of the saints and God himself. We are focused and determined, forcing everything else from our minds. There is a strong determination that becomes evident as it becomes sort of a quest that needs to be finished beyond anything else that needs to be done. The longer it takes, the more frustrated we might become. We then might take a moment to calm ourselves and start over. This is a pattern of behavior which I feel we all can relate to. We all have had situation like this; some with successes and some with failures.

It we want to further understand our relationship with God and want to experience him in our lives, we must approach him in much the same way that we systematically approach a situation when we are looking for something that is familiar to us. God is not hiding, but it can be argued that all of us have lost him at some point in our lives. By ignoring him or underestimating his importance, we can easily forget how it feels to be with him and have him be a part of our lives. We can then forget what it feels like to be loved by him. He is always with us but we are the ones who can easily forget the difference of being with him and being without him. Like someone close to us whom we have lost contact with over the years and now have seen them again there are uncomfortable moments as we try to recapture old emotions and feelings.

This process of reestablishing our relationship can be daunting. Satan and our own nature struggle against coming back to God. We are tempted to give up the search and search for alternatives that would offer quicker results and immediate gratification. Even though these same gratifications will lead to eventual misery and disappointment. We need to remind ourselves that dismissing God will cause us to replace him with something else that is far less perfect than him. These things become like a band-aid on a wound that requires stitches or major surgery. Eventually, the blood seeps through the injury, becomes infected, and threatens our lives. So it is without God.

The Book of Sirach gives us encouragement in times of weakness and when we are poised to abandon our search:

“The LORD is a God of justice,
who knows no favorites.
Though not unduly partial toward the weak,
yet he hears the cry of the oppressed.
The Lord is not deaf to the wail of the orphan,
nor to the widow when she pours out her complaint.
The one who serves God willingly is heard;
his petition reaches the heavens.
The prayer of the lowly pierces the clouds;
it does not rest till it reaches its goal,
nor will it withdraw till the Most High responds,
judges justly and affirms the right,
and the Lord will not delay.”

When we are away from God we become the oppressed, the suffering, and the forlorn. Whatever else is happening in our lives, our relationship with God will define our state of being. Are we with him or without him? Being without him immediately puts us at a disadvantage in our lives and within his creation. It is like being in a home of someone we do not know. We cannot even find the bathroom if we needed it.

So, we are told to go to him, pray to him, and do it without ceasing. We are told that he knows us and hears all of our prayers. Just like searching for that item that we so desperately needs, we must maintain our faith even in times of doubt that we will find what we have lost. Even though it may seem futile at times, that is only because we are being challenged in our faith. That is when we need God's help the most. When we think that he is not listening then we must prayer more often and become more focused and disciplined. We must think back to when the last time was that we felt a longing for him and encountered him. We can then retrace our steps and go back to him.

When we return to him we should do so in a humble broken manner. Admitting that we indeed are sinners and are far from perfect allows God to do his work shaping us in his image and tending to our wounds. He will heal us and comfort us as long as we allow him. From an early age, society teaches us that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It oftentimes makes us feel embarrassed and humiliated. Within our relationship with God we must understand that this is acceptable and actually liberates us. When we humble ourselves, God then will lift us up and will comfort us. He will protect us and show us the path to redemption. We will never be perfect and he does not want us to pretend to be. We must remove all of our pride and self-adulation when approaching our relationship with God. Then and only then will we experience him fully.

Deacon Tom