Thursday, April 30, 2020
Second Reading
From the treatise Against Heresies by Saint Irenaeus, bishop
The eucharist, pledge of our resurrection
If our flesh is not saved, then the Lord has not redeemed us with his
blood, the eucharistic chalice does not make us sharers in his blood,
and the bread we break does not make us sharers in his body. There can
be no blood without veins, flesh and the rest of the human substance,
and this the Word of God actually became: it was with his own blood that
he redeemed us. As the Apostle says: In him, through his blood, we have been redeemed, our sins have been forgiven.We are his members and we are nourished by creation, which is his gift to us, for it is he who causes the sun to rise and the rain to fall. He declared that the chalice, which comes from his creation, was his blood, and he makes it the nourishment of our blood. He affirmed that the bread, which comes from his creation, was his body, and he makes it the nourishment of our body. When the chalice we mix and the bread we bake receive the word of God, the eucharistic elements become the body and blood of Christ, by which our bodies live and grow. How then can it be said that flesh belonging to the Lord’s own body and nourished by his body and blood is incapable of receiving God’s gift of eternal life? Saint Paul says in his letter to the Ephesians that we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. He is not speaking of some spiritual and incorporeal kind of man, for spirits do not have flesh and bones. He is speaking of a real human body composed of flesh, sinews and bones, nourished by the chalice of Christ’s blood and receiving growth from the bread which is his body.
The slip of a vine planted in the ground bears fruit at the proper time. The grain of wheat falls into the ground and decays only to be raised up again and multiplied by the Spirit of God who sustains all things. The Wisdom of God places these things at the service of man and when they receive God’s word they become the eucharist, which is the body and blood of Christ. In the same way our bodies, which have been nourished by the eucharist, will be buried in the earth and will decay, but they will rise again at the appointed time, for the Word of God will raise them up to the glory of God the Father. Then the Father will clothe our mortal nature in immortality and freely endow our corruptible nature with incorruptibility, for God’s power is shown most perfectly in weakness.
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 30, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 30, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL. 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 26TH: 26, 509 (-8910)
APRIL 27TH: 23,196 (-3313)
APRIL 28TH: 25,409 (+2213)
APRIL 29TH: 28, 429 (+3020)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts( Leveling Off))
Michigan (Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Declining)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Declining)
Louisiana (Declining)
Texas (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts( Leveling Off))
Michigan (Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Declining)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Declining)
Louisiana (Declining)
Texas (Leveling Off)
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 29, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 29, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL. 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 26TH: 26, 509 (-8910)
APRIL 27TH: 23,196 (-3313)
APRIL 28TH: 25,409 (+2213)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts( Declining))
Michigan (Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Declining)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Declining)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Corona Virus Update april 28, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 28, 2020
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts( Declining))
Michigan (Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Declining)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Declining)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL. 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 26TH: 26, 509 (-8910)
APRIL 27TH: 23,196 (-3313)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts( Declining))
Michigan (Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Declining)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Declining)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL. 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 26TH: 26, 509 (-8910)
APRIL 27TH: 23,196 (-3313)
Monday, April 27, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 27, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 27, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL. 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 26TH: 26, 509 (-8910)
The state numbers followed the pattern with New York and Massachusetts both settling down to their LEVELING OFF NUMBERS
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (Leveling Off)
Michigan (Possibly Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (Leveling Off)
Michigan (Possibly Declining))
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
O Mary, Virgin most powerful and Mother of
mercy, Queen of Heaven and Refuge of sinners, we consecrate ourselves to thine
Immaculate Heart.
We consecrate to thee our very being and our whole life; all that we have, all that we love, all that we are. To thee we give our bodies, our hearts and our souls; to thee we give our homes, our families, our country.
We desire that all that is in us and around us may belong to thee, and may share in the benefits of thy motherly benediction. And that this act of consecration may be truly efficacious and lasting, we renew this day at thy feet the promises of our Baptism and our first Holy Communion.
We pledge ourselves to profess courageously and at all times the truths of our holy Faith, and to live as befits Catholics who are duly submissive to all the directions of the Pope and the Bishops in communion with him.
We pledge ourselves to keep the commandments of God and His Church, in particular to keep holy the Lord's Day.
We likewise pledge ourselves to make the consoling practices of the Christian religion, and above all, Holy Communion, an integral part of our lives, in so far as we shall be able so to do.
Finally, we promise thee, O glorious Mother of God and loving Mother of men, to devote ourselves whole-heartedly to the service of thy blessed cult, in order to hasten and assure, through the sovereignty of thine Immaculate Heart, the coming of the kingdom of the Sacred Heart of thine adorable Son, in our own hearts and in those of all men, in our country and in all the world, as in heaven. so on earth. Amen.
We consecrate to thee our very being and our whole life; all that we have, all that we love, all that we are. To thee we give our bodies, our hearts and our souls; to thee we give our homes, our families, our country.
We desire that all that is in us and around us may belong to thee, and may share in the benefits of thy motherly benediction. And that this act of consecration may be truly efficacious and lasting, we renew this day at thy feet the promises of our Baptism and our first Holy Communion.
We pledge ourselves to profess courageously and at all times the truths of our holy Faith, and to live as befits Catholics who are duly submissive to all the directions of the Pope and the Bishops in communion with him.
We pledge ourselves to keep the commandments of God and His Church, in particular to keep holy the Lord's Day.
We likewise pledge ourselves to make the consoling practices of the Christian religion, and above all, Holy Communion, an integral part of our lives, in so far as we shall be able so to do.
Finally, we promise thee, O glorious Mother of God and loving Mother of men, to devote ourselves whole-heartedly to the service of thy blessed cult, in order to hasten and assure, through the sovereignty of thine Immaculate Heart, the coming of the kingdom of the Sacred Heart of thine adorable Son, in our own hearts and in those of all men, in our country and in all the world, as in heaven. so on earth. Amen.
Sunday, April 26, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 26, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 26, 2020
The daily figures are posted below:
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
APRIL 25TH: 35,419 ((-3539)
Third Sunday of Easter
Third
Sunday of Easter
Lectionary: 46
Lectionary: 46
Then Peter stood up with the Eleven,
raised his voice, and proclaimed:
“You who are Jews, indeed all of you staying in Jerusalem.
Let this be known to you, and listen to my words.
You who are Israelites, hear these words.
Jesus the Nazarene was a man commended to you by God
with mighty deeds, wonders, and signs,
which God worked through him in your midst, as you yourselves know.
This man, delivered up by the set plan and foreknowledge of God,
you killed, using lawless men to crucify him.
But God raised him up, releasing him from the throes of death,
because it was impossible for him to be held by it.
For David says of him:
I saw the Lord ever before me,
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
Therefore my heart has been glad and my tongue has exulted;
my flesh, too, will dwell in hope,
because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,
nor will you suffer your holy one to see corruption.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.
raised his voice, and proclaimed:
“You who are Jews, indeed all of you staying in Jerusalem.
Let this be known to you, and listen to my words.
You who are Israelites, hear these words.
Jesus the Nazarene was a man commended to you by God
with mighty deeds, wonders, and signs,
which God worked through him in your midst, as you yourselves know.
This man, delivered up by the set plan and foreknowledge of God,
you killed, using lawless men to crucify him.
But God raised him up, releasing him from the throes of death,
because it was impossible for him to be held by it.
For David says of him:
I saw the Lord ever before me,
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
Therefore my heart has been glad and my tongue has exulted;
my flesh, too, will dwell in hope,
because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,
nor will you suffer your holy one to see corruption.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.
“My brothers, one can confidently
say to you
about the patriarch David that he died and was buried,
and his tomb is in our midst to this day.
But since he was a prophet and knew that God had sworn an oath to him
that he would set one of his descendants upon his throne,
he foresaw and spoke of the resurrection of the Christ,
that neither was he abandoned to the netherworld
nor did his flesh see corruption.
God raised this Jesus;
of this we are all witnesses.
Exalted at the right hand of God,
he received the promise of the Holy Spirit from the Father
and poured him forth, as you see and hear.”
about the patriarch David that he died and was buried,
and his tomb is in our midst to this day.
But since he was a prophet and knew that God had sworn an oath to him
that he would set one of his descendants upon his throne,
he foresaw and spoke of the resurrection of the Christ,
that neither was he abandoned to the netherworld
nor did his flesh see corruption.
God raised this Jesus;
of this we are all witnesses.
Exalted at the right hand of God,
he received the promise of the Holy Spirit from the Father
and poured him forth, as you see and hear.”
Responsorial
Psalm Ps 16:1-2, 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11
R. (11a) Lord, you will show us
the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, “My Lord are you.”
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
I bless the LORD who counsels me;
even in the night my heart exhorts me.
I set the LORD ever before me;
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
or:
R. Alleluia.
Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, “My Lord are you.”
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
I bless the LORD who counsels me;
even in the night my heart exhorts me.
I set the LORD ever before me;
with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices,
my body, too, abides in confidence;
because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,
nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
You will show me the path to life,
abounding joy in your presence,
the delights at your right hand forever.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices,
my body, too, abides in confidence;
because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,
nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
You will show me the path to life,
abounding joy in your presence,
the delights at your right hand forever.
R. Lord, you will show us the path of life.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Reading
2 1 Pt 1:17-21
Beloved:
If you invoke as Father him who judges impartially
according to each one’s works,
conduct yourselves with reverence during the time of your sojourning,
realizing that you were ransomed from your futile conduct,
handed on by your ancestors,
not with perishable things like silver or gold
but with the precious blood of Christ
as of a spotless unblemished lamb.
If you invoke as Father him who judges impartially
according to each one’s works,
conduct yourselves with reverence during the time of your sojourning,
realizing that you were ransomed from your futile conduct,
handed on by your ancestors,
not with perishable things like silver or gold
but with the precious blood of Christ
as of a spotless unblemished lamb.
He was known before the foundation
of the world
but revealed in the final time for you,
who through him believe in God
who raised him from the dead and gave him glory,
so that your faith and hope are in God.
but revealed in the final time for you,
who through him believe in God
who raised him from the dead and gave him glory,
so that your faith and hope are in God.
Alleluia
Lk 24:32
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Lord Jesus, open the Scriptures to us;
make our hearts burn while you speak to us.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Lord Jesus, open the Scriptures to us;
make our hearts burn while you speak to us.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Gospel
Lk 24:13-35
That very day, the first day of the
week,
two of Jesus’ disciples were going
to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus,
and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred.
And it happened that while they were conversing and debating,
Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,
but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.
He asked them,
“What are you discussing as you walk along?”
They stopped, looking downcast.
One of them, named Cleopas, said to him in reply,
“Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem
who does not know of the things
that have taken place there in these days?”
And he replied to them, “What sort of things?”
They said to him,
“The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene,
who was a prophet mighty in deed and word
before God and all the people,
how our chief priests and rulers both handed him over
to a sentence of death and crucified him.
But we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel;
and besides all this,
it is now the third day since this took place.
Some women from our group, however, have astounded us:
they were at the tomb early in the morning
and did not find his body;
they came back and reported
that they had indeed seen a vision of angels
who announced that he was alive.
Then some of those with us went to the tomb
and found things just as the women had described,
but him they did not see.”
And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are!
How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!
Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things
and enter into his glory?”
Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets,
he interpreted to them what referred to him
in all the Scriptures.
As they approached the village to which they were going,
he gave the impression that he was going on farther.
But they urged him, “Stay with us,
for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.”
So he went in to stay with them.
And it happened that, while he was with them at table,
he took bread, said the blessing,
broke it, and gave it to them.
With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him,
but he vanished from their sight.
Then they said to each other,
“Were not our hearts burning within us
while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”
So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem
where they found gathered together
the eleven and those with them who were saying,
“The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!”
Then the two recounted
what had taken place on the way
and how he was made known to them in the breaking of bread.
two of Jesus’ disciples were going
to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus,
and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred.
And it happened that while they were conversing and debating,
Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,
but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.
He asked them,
“What are you discussing as you walk along?”
They stopped, looking downcast.
One of them, named Cleopas, said to him in reply,
“Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem
who does not know of the things
that have taken place there in these days?”
And he replied to them, “What sort of things?”
They said to him,
“The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene,
who was a prophet mighty in deed and word
before God and all the people,
how our chief priests and rulers both handed him over
to a sentence of death and crucified him.
But we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel;
and besides all this,
it is now the third day since this took place.
Some women from our group, however, have astounded us:
they were at the tomb early in the morning
and did not find his body;
they came back and reported
that they had indeed seen a vision of angels
who announced that he was alive.
Then some of those with us went to the tomb
and found things just as the women had described,
but him they did not see.”
And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are!
How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!
Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things
and enter into his glory?”
Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets,
he interpreted to them what referred to him
in all the Scriptures.
As they approached the village to which they were going,
he gave the impression that he was going on farther.
But they urged him, “Stay with us,
for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.”
So he went in to stay with them.
And it happened that, while he was with them at table,
he took bread, said the blessing,
broke it, and gave it to them.
With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him,
but he vanished from their sight.
Then they said to each other,
“Were not our hearts burning within us
while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”
So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem
where they found gathered together
the eleven and those with them who were saying,
“The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!”
Then the two recounted
what had taken place on the way
and how he was made known to them in the breaking of bread.
MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
The Resurrection Story continues in the Gospel Revelations read last week and this week. We had Jesus breath on His disciples giving them the Gift of the Holy Spirit and meeting with them on a very personal and intimate level. We then had the proclamation of the Apostle Thomas “My Lord My God!” This week these personal interactions are revisited. The two disciples who walked with Jesus on the road to Emmaus were obviously distressed by what had happened to Jesus and, by their act of walking away from Jerusalem, indicate that they were possibly in flight. They did not even realize who Jesus was. The news of Jesus’ Resurrection had no positive impact on them and did not change the fact they were leaving. During this Easter Season we are asked to reflect on the Resurrection and how it affects our relationship with Jesus Christ. Furthermore, we are challenged to examine how we should let the Resurrection impact our lives, the decisions that we make, and the way we conduct ourselves. It would be good for us to ask ourselves how important the Resurrection Event is to us. Does it take a predominant role in our lives or is it just another holiday and season on the Church Calendar? Do we find ourselves walking away from it like the two disciples on the road to Emmaus or are we walking towards it with true joy; understanding exactly what the Resurrection means to us and the entire world. The Resurrection is not just another holiday; it was and still is an event that shook the entire universe. Jesus Christ is truly risen and through that event we should follow Jesus as Children of the Resurrection and of the Light.
Unfortunately, there are those who profess some sort of belief in Jesus Christ or at least in God but cannot recognize Him in other people, in His creation, or even in their own lives. In other words, their belief in God has no impact on their lives above and beyond a confused understanding which they can barely express when asked and they are very ready to dismiss it when challenged. These are the ones who could even be walking with Jesus and not recognize Him. The challenge for us is to answer the question if we are with those individuals or are with those who know more and are ready to profess that knowledge; the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Helping us in this journey is the Eucharist. The disciples’ eyes were opened “In the Breaking of the Bread.” This is a gift that Jesus gave to us. Through it we are able to unite ourselves to Him physically, mentally, and spirituality. Jesus, through His disciples, instructed us to celebrate His death and resurrection by partaking in this gift as often as possible and whenever we gather in worship together. There is a reason for this and this reason is emphasized in the Gospel Reading today. When we unite ourselves to Christ on this intimate level we are open to receiving spiritual gifts and are open to receiving revelation which will affect the way we see the world and everything in God’s Creation. We are naturally lifted up and put on a higher plain of existence where everything comes into focus. There is no more confusion; only comfort and a closer relationship with anybody and anything we come into contact with. The Eucharist is Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ is in the Eucharist. Receiving Communion and partaking in the Eucharist offers us a window into perfection and enables us to experience perfection, which is God, in the present moment. It adds to our faith-life and to everything experience we have while living here on this earth. This is how the disciples eyes were opened in The Breaking of the Bread and this is why the experience was the first thing mentioned to Jesus’ other followers when the two returned to Jerusalem. Just as the Breaking of the Bread became central to the disciples at the Last Supper, in the resurrection Narrative, and throughout the Acts of the Apostles, so must it be in our relationship with Jesus Christ.
Every action of Jesus Christ had a purpose. Everything that Jesus said had intent. We as Christians are encouraged to watch and listen; discerning what these things are meant to mean for us. Learning about these things, bringing them to prayer, and letting them affect our daily lives and worship are part of what we need to do to make Jesus Christ central in our daily living. When this is focused on, only good things can result.
Deacon Tom
First Reading
From the letter of the apostle Paul to the Ephesians
4:1-16
The various graces for the different ministries in the one body of Christ.
I plead with you, then, as a prisoner for the Lord, to live a life worthy of
the calling you have received, with perfect humility, meekness, and patience,
bearing with one another lovingly. Make every effort to preserve the unity
which has the Spirit as its origin and peace as its binding force. There is but
one body and one Spirit, just as there is but one hope given all of you by your
call. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who
is over all, and works through all, and is in all.From the letter of the apostle Paul to the Ephesians
4:1-16
The various graces for the different ministries in the one body of Christ.
Each of us has received God’s favor in the measure in which Christ bestows it. Thus you find Scripture saying:
“When he ascended on high, he took a host of captives
and gave gifts to men.”
“He ascended” — what does this mean but that he had first descended into the lower regions of the earth? He who descended is the very one who ascended high above the heavens, that he might fill all men with his gifts.
It is he who gave apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers in roles of service for the faithful to build up the body of Christ, till we become one in faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, and form that perfect man who is Christ come to full stature.
Let us, then, be children no longer, tossed here and there, carried about by every wind of doctrine that originates in human trickery and skill in proposing error. Rather, let us profess the truth in love and grow to the full maturity of Christ the head. Through him the whole body grows, and with the proper functioning of the members joined firmly together by each supporting ligament, builds itself up in love.
Second
reading
From the treatise Against Heresies by Saint Irenaeus, bishop
Preaching truth
The Church, which has spread everywhere, even to the ends of the earth,
received the faith from the apostles and their disciples. By faith, we believe
in one God, the almighty Father who made heaven and earth and the sea and
all that is in them. We believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God,
who became man for our salvation. And we believe in the Holy Spirit who through
the prophets foretold God’s plan: the coming of our beloved Lord Jesus Christ,
his birth from the Virgin, his passion, his resurrection from the dead, his
ascension into heaven, and his final coming from heaven in the glory of his
Father, to recapitulate all things and to raise all men from the dead,
so that, by the decree of his invisible Father, he may make a just judgment in
all things and so that every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and
under the earth to Jesus Christ our Lord and our God, our Savior and our
King, and every tongue confess him.From the treatise Against Heresies by Saint Irenaeus, bishop
Preaching truth
The Church, spread throughout the whole world, received this preaching and this faith and now preserves it carefully, dwelling as it were in one house. Having one soul and one heart, the Church holds this faith, preaches and teaches it consistently as though by a single voice. For though there are different languages, there is but one tradition.
The faith and the tradition of the churches founded in Germany are no different from those founded among the Spanish and the Celts, in the East, in Egypt, in Libya and elsewhere in the Mediterranean world. Just as God’s creature, the sun, is one and the same the world over, so also does the Church’s preaching shine everywhere to enlighten all men who want to come to a knowledge of the truth.
Now of those who speak with authority in the churches, no preacher however forceful will utter anything different — for no one is above the Master — nor will a less forceful preacher diminish what has been handed down. Since our faith is everywhere the same, no one who can say more augments it, nor can anyone who says less diminish it.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 25, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 25, 2020
Daily figures:
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (fluctuating)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
APRIL 24TH: 38,958 (+7058)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (fluctuating)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
Friday, April 24, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 24TH, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 24, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts(Possibly Leveling Off)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 23RD: 31, 900 (+1927)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts(Possibly Leveling Off)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Connecticut (Leveling Off)
NEWS FLASH-COMMONWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS
FROM GOVERNOR BAKER APRIL 24, 2020: 3900 people in Massachusetts hospitalized because of Corona Virus. There are a total of 18,000 Hospital Beds available in Massachusetts including ICU Beds. As of right now, 9,000 of these beds are empty. "We are well positioned." Real good news
Thursday, April 23, 2020
GOOD JOB SHUTTING DOWN THE WORLD ECONOMY AND THE U.S. ECONOMY------ Net
Loss of Life anyone? So we basically succeeded in killing hundreds of
thousands of people and forcing millions into extreme poverty and
starvation. NICE REALLY NICE. Those opposing the shutdowns are heartless
and the fools.....lol
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 23, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 23, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
APRIL 22ND: 29, 973 (+3988)
Texas has fell out of the Top Ten10 as it continues its decline and is planning on opening up its economy again. Massachusetts is definitely LEVELING OFF. which again means ALL TOP TEN STATES, INCLUDING NOW CONNECTICUT, are either LEVELING OFF or declining. This will definitely have an impact on the daily totals. Hopefully by next week we will see daily totals in the low 20 thousands.
Texas has fell out of the Top Ten10 as it continues its decline and is planning on opening up its economy again. Massachusetts is definitely LEVELING OFF. which again means ALL TOP TEN STATES, INCLUDING NOW CONNECTICUT, are either LEVELING OFF or declining. This will definitely have an impact on the daily totals. Hopefully by next week we will see daily totals in the low 20 thousands.
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 22, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 22, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
APRIL 21ST: 25, 985 (-2138)
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (Leveling Off)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Texas (Declining)
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 21, 2020
CORONA VIRUS UPDATE APRIL 21, 2020
APRIL 05TH: 25, 316 (-8880)
APRIL 06TH: 30, 331 (+5015)
APRIL 07TH: 33, 331 ( +3,000)
APRIL 08TH: 31, 935 (-1396)
APRIL 09TH: 33, 536 (+1601)
APRIL 10TH: 33, 752 (+216)
APRIL 11TH: 30,0003 (-3749)
APRIL 12TH: 27,421 (-2582)
APRIL 13TH: 26641 (-780)
APRIL 14TH: 30,720 (+4079).
APRIL 15TH: 30,206 (-514)
APRIL 16TH: 29,567 (-639)
APRIL 17TH: 32165 (+2598)
APRIL 18TH: 29,057 (-3108)
APRIL 19TH: 25, 040 (-4017)
APRIL 20TH: 28,123 (+3083)
Throughout the week you will see a slow move towards the mid and lower
20 thousands and a quicker reduction of new deaths. Good news from
Massachusetts as that state saw the fourth straight day of a reduction
of new cases and it looks like, just like the Governor said, it has
leveled off. Michigan has also leveled off. Texas appears to be
declining:
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (Leveling Off)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Texas (Declining)
THINGS ARE LOOKING REAL GOOD!
NEW YORK (Leveling Off)
New Jersey (Leveling Off)
Massachusetts (Leveling Off)
Michigan (Leveling Off)
California (Leveling Off)
Pennsylvania (Leveling Off)
Illinois (Leveling Off)
Florida (Leveling Off)
Louisiana (Declining)
Texas (Declining)
THINGS ARE LOOKING REAL GOOD!
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
"In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately”.
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
"In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately”.
Her
Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota,
and Utah, which she does not fancy).
Our
new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be
disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine
whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
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